A software developer mentor’s advice to mentees
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First published at https://rghiorghisor.medium.com/a-software-developer-mentors-advice-to-mentees-3fe5a1baf749
As a software developer, there is a high possibility of finding yourself in a mentoring relationship. Whether it is a formal or informal one, mentorship might be overwhelming especially if it is the first one you are engaged in. In this article, I am trying to give some pointers on easily navigating this experience and getting as much as possible from it.
In all my workplaces I have been involved in mentorship as a mentor as well as a mentee and I noticed some mistakes (bad practices?) in approaching the relationship, including on my behalf. The purpose of these bits of advice is to better handle these situations and to make the experience as fruitful as it can be.
Before getting to the actual list, I need to emphasize the fact that, in general, I do not see career development as a step-by-step tutorial. There are way too many variables, things that can go your way or situations that you will hate being in, people that you will love being around or hate having any contact with them; therefore a list of actions that you can follow in a general manner, after which you will become CEO, cannot be compiled in any manner. I strongly suggest you assess each situation individually and take whatever decision you think suits you. And the best way of achieving this is by being as informed and aware as you can.
Furthermore, I did not want to compile a strictly theoretical way of handling these situations (that would be a better job for the HR team) but to present some real issues that I and some of my colleagues have encountered.
Let’s get to it!
Don’t forget why you are there!
You are there to learn. Unless said otherwise, nobody will guarantee you will get a job or a promotion at the end of the mentorship stage. Even if such a reward is on the table, there is also the possibility that you will not be the one to get it (not necessarily the worst thing). Thus, borrowing from stoicism learnings, the two sole purposes you need to worry about is what and how much you can learn.
Try focusing on information intake and skill development rather than on what job or salary you will be having if everything goes your way. Not only this will directly improve your skills, but indirectly will show others (especially the people that matter) where your focus is.
Even so, besides learning, I think it is extremely important to understand and highlight any other goals you might have. In other words, establishing a secondary goal (or goals) will, for sure, help you be more focused. Some people like writing it down, to consistently remind themselves what they are attempting to achieve. Such goals may include improving communication skills, learn organizational navigation, make better presentations, and so on.
Nonetheless, whatever your goals are, I suggest having a clear understanding and trying to focus your work towards achieving them.
Help your mentor help you!
Mentors are not there to teach you in the traditional manner. A good mentor will act more as an adviser trying to guide you by sharing his or her experience in a particular field, while you will learn not only theoretical details but, more importantly, will gain experience.
Most professionals that take over mentorship duties do this voluntarily, trying to help less experienced colleagues. Now, I am not trying by any means to make heroes out of these mentors, as I strongly consider that sharing experience is something that anyone with said experience must undertake during their career and these actions should not be considered extraordinary ones. What I am trying to point out here is that sometimes, mentees get the wrong idea that is only the mentor’s responsibility for the stage to be successful.
Don’t expect your mentor to pull your weight. That is something you will have to take care of. You are not in school; mentors are not your teachers but your colleagues.
A good mentor will always find ways of motivating you and giving you pointers, but if no involvement is coming from you he or she will definitely lose interest.
It’s all about you!
On the mentor’s side, mentorship is about passing information and sharing experience. On the other side, on your part mentorship is all about assimilating that information and experience. But make no mistake, mentors will not exist if it weren’t for you. Even if most companies organize these sessions to gain prospective employees, the main actor is you, not the company, the mentor, or the mentorship stage. As soon as you realize this, things will look simpler, and hopefully, some of the pressure will dilute itself.
Take advantage of the mentorship session and try to assimilate as much as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask too many questions, don’t worry about wasting anyone’s time. This is about you.
It may not work out!
Like any other relationship, things might go surprisingly well or, on the contrary, very very awful. In a “fixed” mentorship, like a company practice stage, you are assigned a mentor by default. In some situations, even with efforts from both sides, the mentor and mentee cannot collaborate successfully. This does not mean necessarily that you did unspeakable things and that is the reason why things did not turn out ok.
If things go sour, don’t blame yourself, but in the future try to learn from the mistakes of this failed session, either your mistakes or the mentor’s mishaps.
You don’t know what you want, yet!
Your career is not defined yet. Especially if you are a student, but also if you are looking for a promotion, your future professional specialization can change very quickly. For example, you might notice that you enjoy much more frontend development than the backend development position you have your eye on, but that will only happen if you give it a chance. And what situation to attempt these new things if not when a more experienced person advises you and oversees your progress.
Never dismiss opportunities because of preconceptions you might have. Give it a try and maybe new doors will open for you.
Still, take this with a grain of salt. What you want for your career and life must matter more than what a mentor or company demands from you.I hope that by reading these lines you got a little more information on what you should be on the lookout for in a mentorship stage and how certain situations may be approached.
But I think the most important take away from these words is that You are not alone. However difficult the situation you are in is, some other people have most probably experienced it too and advice can be found if looked or asked for.
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